Monday morning grumpiness

I managed to pretty much agitate my entire family as I grumbled and grouched my way into Monday morning this week. After a reasonably successful week last week I was swamped this morning by the fear. The only thing that really got me into school bright and early this morning was the even greater fear that if i didn't get there fast I might not get there at all and if that happened I may never return. I do wonder how many people have only turned up on a Monday morning because they are terrified that the overwhelming urge just to crawl under the duvet and have a quiet breakdown might  kick in and take over.

Anyway the point is this. Inevitably, I did go to work and the reality is actually my day was ok. I felt a little tired and a bit sniffly, but hey, here I am on Monday night. I'm still alive, I made it through and in spite of my doubts I did ok. I guess I probably can make it through this week after all. But no promises for next Monday!

By the way made it to the swimming pool on Sunday. As I plunged through the water and the familiar rhythmic sound of breath and movement in the water gently lulled my twitchy brain I was forced to ask , Why have I not come for so long? I really hope I remember that when I'm persuading myself to go next week.

Happy week people, keep going and the monentum will gather and before we know it we'll be in that sweet short lived blissful moment on a Saturday when we realise it isn't a work day.

Rays of sunshine

What a pleasure to reach the end of Monday and feel strangely upbeat. In spite of nearly escaped children , tears and tantrums I kind of had fun learning all about the number 2 and the other sweet moments that make teachers keep dragging their emotionally battered behinds out of bed and into the classroom..

I think what really prompted my unusually sunny disposition on a Monday night was todays staff meeting. As I am sure anyone who teaches will know weekly staff meetings are sometimes  bit of a strain. Frankly at the end of a hard day with children what I prefer to do is have a little bit of down time hanging out in my classroom pottering about, not quite getting very much done and having a bit of a chat with lovely workmates. Monday staff meetings often force you to rush about, and then feel hideously exposed and inadequate as you discover there is something you should have done or know about and really you stopped paying attention for the important moment. This evening, however in amongst the usual business I just noticed what an incredibly lovely group of people I work with and felt really happy. There are always cycles in schools when teams seem to really gel and everyone gets on and inevitably when roles change and people leave etc it isn't always so shiny. However, today sat in that meeting I just thought, right here, right now I like and respect the people I work with and when I've had a crappy time in the classroom those people make it all ok. So thanks people!

Chatted to a friend today who is joining me on the introduce exercise into your life gently campaign, so my message to her is see you with your bike tomorrow. Tell me about your pledges to exercise or your shiny moments of sunshine and keep the positive thinking rolling.

New term, ouch!

Well here we are again. Just a couple of weeks into the new term and the annual terror that already I am burnt out has kicked in. As a reception teacher I have just completed my first week with actual children and have come away with a cold and a familiar sinking feeling that perhaps I have made a terrible mistake with my chosen career and actually i'd like to start a new quiet life in the country.

After allowing myself a day to wallow in self pity I have forced myself to face some home truths.
1, I weirdly like my job, its just hard.
2, I wouldn't like a quiet life in the country.
3, I can't blame anyone else.
4, I still haven't become somebody who exercises which I have been planning to be for about 15 years now.

Returning to my last point. Why is this so hard. I know that it is really good for positive thinking, improving the old mental health and may even mean I am not totally victim to my monthly cycle, yet still I resist.

Well here I am yet again about to embark on attempt number 572 to introduce exercise into my life. it's out there now. I humbly commit in this first minimal attempt to swim every week for 1 month. I am starting small, so wish me luck and hold me to account if i don't do it.
I'd love to hear about your early term experiences, or your attempts to keep positive thinking post and share.